HELLO PEEPS!

i will be on hiatus officially starting from tomorow.

i have papers to write, u see 3/5...

on mon : medicine

tue : paediatrics

wed : off (thank god, to breathe)

thurs : surgery (killing!!)

fri : orhtopaedics

sat : ong (coolll!!)

wish me luck... and oh, try hard not to miss me, eh (i wish!) :P rojer and out.zzzzZZZZZZzzZZ

congrats DR NOUR EL HUDA!! congrats congrats..u done well, and i am so happy for u sis. berbaloi usaha selama ni...:). dan skang tinggal le generasi kitorang meneruskan perjuangan. insya allah, akan cuba out of my best efforts to follow ur footstep.. skang ni tgh study break lagi...semalam baru sampai from kt..letih wooo...pasal amik bas...nak amik flight, takde org nak pick dari KLIA..last2 decide juga amik bas..tapi takperla, bersusah susah dahulu...senang2 kemudian kan..dok memulun baca surgery nih...makin banyak, makin lupa...rasa kecut perut campur cemas campur ntah apa2 rasa lagi dok bergumpal2 dalam perut aku nih...hopefully sumernye akan berakhir dengan baik. aku cuma mampu berusaha, tuhan yang menentukan...ya allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan aku dalam sumer urusan dunia nih...amin. duduk dalam bilik sorang2 nih, macam2 fikiran datang.. tentang isu2 semasa yang mama dok bangkitkan..hehe, apa isu tuh....tungguuuuu...tgkla, kalau aku ada mood dan ada rezeki, akan ku warwarkan dalam bulan nih, tak pun bulan depan, tak pun lepas bulan january next year...tgk la seru tu bila :P tapi yang pasti, kata2 mama buatkan aku berfikir, aku ni dah tuer sangat ke?? tapi aku rasa aku muda lagi, dan masih kanak2 lagi...:) well, ari sabtu lepas actually aku balik ke kl...dari kl ikut family balik terengganu. mama dan abah ke kl pasal rumah kami di kl tu tgh renovate skang. sibuk la depa berdua dok berjumpa dengan kontraktor. telefon tu asik berbunyi2..kalah ceo syarikat...pastu dok berulang alik dari rumah pakcik di TTDI tu ke rumah kami di TTDI lama. nasib baik la dekat jer. alhamdulillah, dah 70% siap renovation tuh..dalam masa dua minggu lagi, agaknya siap la sumenyer...mama dan abah dah wat rancangan nak 'naik rumah' ari 6 hb 8 ni...semangat nye depa..aku masa tuh dah la baru habih exam...and depa pulak supposedly to come from jerantut lepas menghantar abg mir nikah kat umah kak mala. hai, melepas lagi aku satu majlis kahwin..tapi nak buat macamana, aku exam ari jumaat tuh..takpelah, walaupun tak pergi, aku ttp akan doakan depa kekal ke anak cucu. amin. nanti, sambut menantu kat trg, aku balik, insya allah. dah book pun flight tiket awal2...semangat kan aku nih...yelah, nak jugak merasa nasi minyak free. lama dah dak makan nasi minyak kenduri nih... aku ni dah melalut panjang2...buku surgery memanggil2...kene stop dah nih...doakan aku ye khalayak sumer...:)

i have this prejudice against death. i know that death is inevitable. that all living will taste death. that it is a natural process. that is the end of aging, (though sometimes this doesnt hold true). and none will escape. none. nil. null. as a medical learner, i am also at stake of facing deaths, every day. in contact, though indirectly. and been there, witnessing it. yet, i cant help from having this kind of prejudice. i for one, cant imagine myself dying. not at this very date. coz i am not yet fit or deemed to meet my creator. in my current state, not yet. but more, i cant imagine my loved ones dying. and to lose them. i know, again its inevitable, and if that were to happen. nothing in my power(not that i have any) can stop that from happening. well, now what triggers all this rants? it was a nightmare that rendered me sweating,panting. i chosed not to elaborate the mare more.. suffice to say,it was a mere dream, that evokes this strong emotion in me. i know that this is not acceptable of me. to love another human being more. to care about human being more. i should love my creator more. i should not be afraid of losing. ii should not be. this is not a haunting thought. i am not yet obsessed. and this is not yet intrusive. i hope they wont.but i cant help to wish i have them with me until i grow old. well, i shall pray hard that Allah sees to my loved ones safety and sounds. panjangkanlah umur mereka dan kasihanilah mereka seperti mana mereka mengasihaniku. AMIN.

i woke up precisely at 6.30 to the sound of my alarm clock lying lazily so cozy inside my comforter after taking bath 10 mins later i get dressed and stepped out precisely at 7 I am on my way driving to go to JJ Melaka so that i, who swears a semi partial die hard fan of potter will get the copy first in the morning beyond any breakfast i got there only small crowd overjoyed for the prospect of not queuing too long and there, i got my early cup of nescafe and biscuit kindly given by the staffs and also my precious copy of HP.

dah dua hari ganti puasa. today will be my third day. letih2 woo...balik bilik tido, tido and tido. until the extent i am scared with myself. hehe, memang hantu tido haku nih. my mind says " tido ler ko puas-puas, nanti dah dekat exam ko takleh tido pulak," but my subconscius mind telling " hah, tido lagik. exam dah tak lama weh, bangun bangun study," but then, looks like my body obeyed my conscious mind better... cemana tuh? haku plan nak pose direct. sbb per? aku dah bantai makan 4 kali sehari..mana idaknya? selera mkn best,berat aku pun dah naik dengan gembiranya...muscle mass increase, adipose tissues mass lagi ler...konfirm mak haku akan membebel lagi pasnih. dahler dia nak datang next week, adoiii!! aku tgh ada anticipatory euphoria..hehe, ada dua bende yang aku mmg dok tunggu akan sampai in this week. 1. harry potter 6th book 2. charlie and choc factory the movie. well well well, speaking about exams again. banyaknya dugaan utkku duduk dekat meja study and study as good gal. well, haku dah pre order HP tu awal2 lagik. bayor 30 hinggit kat popular bookstore.. on the 16th morning 7 am amik kat KFC kat jusco melaka. hai, takdenye aku nak bangun pagi2 pi serbu kfc tuh semata2 harry potter. i can wait for the store to open. tapi best jugek kan nak ngk how the die hard fan tu beratur nak amik their books. aku ni kira semi partial die hard fan je. tu maleh nak beratur pepanjang..well, we shall see, maybe if i happened to be terover rajin, haku pun akan turut memeriahkan sama proses penyerbuan kfc di pagi ari sabtu tuh. charlie lak, i will go and watch with fazli. hopefully he'll be free this weekend to come and see me. i shall pray hard..sbb pasnih, aku maleh dah nak kuar pi memana. nak dok diam2 dalam bilik lak. just a reminder for myself, shud not keep my expectation high for the movie. sbb, usually books are better than movie. tgk je la harry potter, not everything will be in play.

i just came back from jusco. i had one session of windowing this time. reason: tgh sengkek skang nih! ehe, for first time, i came back empty handed expcet for food. well, actually followed shah and shida shopping. shah bought an oven...well, dont ask me what he bought that for, ok? i guess he's cooking. well, looks like that, isn't it? the place was sooo crowded today. i guess ppl are doing last min shopping as today will be the last day sale for j card member. i dont really like crowded place. it made me feel uneasy and dizzy. guess i have that what the psych ppl call as agarophobia. the only thing, i dont have that palpitation, tachycardia or light headedness. so guess i am yet to qualify for the panic disorder label. lucky thing, me. :P well...i am going to indulge into my food now. for the day, its chicken sausage flavoured pizza....yum yum...wanna some??

todays entry will be fully in malay. aku ni pun org melayu jugak oii!

Malam malam cenggini mata aku ni makin susah nak tido. sbb apa? pasal dah banyak sangat tido petang. sapa suruh? takde org suruh pun,aku jer yang gatal tido siang. hah, amik kau..malam2 cenggini mata luas cam burung hantu...sian haku...:P

bukak la frenster...alamak, kecut perut jadinya...kengkawan aku yang wat medic sumer dah grad aa...si nizam tu mmg dah grad, dah kawin pun.sama la adlina..si shikin pun dah grad, tapi tak kawin lagi. si rusdi,nini and rahaizah pun dah grad.. depa lagi best, posting kat ganu...dak aci, jeles aku...keh keh keh..aku ni bukan apa, asik dok berangan bila dah habih esok, nak balik kg halaman...mak lak dak kasi...tapi takperlah, belajor ler berdikari...takkan nak dok celah ketiak mak aku sajer, yer dak? hah, yang kengkawan aku lak, pasni aku kene ler panggil depa ni dr...aku ler yang sorang2 tak habih lagi.sob sob sob...

sebenonyer tahap kejelesan aku ni, belum lagi mencapai tahap cipan, cuma aku skang ni tgh kecut perut...org putih kata butterfly in stomach...aku kecut perut nengok(act baca jer kat blog dia)ain study. ntah baper puluh jam in stretch non stop...giler sehh...skang nih aku belum lagi masuk gear 2...isk takleh dibiarkan ni...aku pun kene pulun habih2...nak grad on time, insya allah. amin.

aku dok ngadu kat mama susah study...she keeps on reminding me utk berdoa..doa la byk2, minta mudah sumer...aku mmg minta...moga2 Allah dengar permintaan aku nih...tu la, masa senang dak ingat dunia...nak berdoa pun lupa, time susah baru ingat..ni peringatan utk diri aku nih...kekadang aku pk, maybe sbb ni kot aku dok dengo citer ada student jadi giler.. banyak sngat nak cover...sampai dok terkejar2 mencover...nauzubillah, harapnya AllAH takkan tarik balik nikmat kesihatan mental yang setakat ni dia bagi pada aku. amin.