3 days more to go. yet i am not ready yet, to battle, to fight, to win. but, mama said, i will not be ready forever, if i dont go for this one. so she asked me to do the best and try my luck. i will. i wont turn back anymore. and thanks ain for giving me the opening eye talk..i really appreciate it. ya allah ya tuhanku, aku hambamu yang lemah, mengharapkan kasih sayangmu. perkuatkanlah keazamanku, permudahkanlah segala urusanku, hilangkanlah kebuntuan dan timbulkanlah ilham, lindungilah aku dari dizalimi. aku hanya ingin menjadi seorang doktor yang selamat, dan mula berbakti pada akhir februari ini. amin.

what i did on the new year's eve? I went out for dinner with shida and shanti, thinking that we are watching BAIK PUNYA CILOK afterwards. but, it just happened that we dont have jodoh with the movie,as i cancelled the reservations afterwards due to some misunderstanding. instead, we watched pride and prejudice modern version showing at 11.45 pm. i know tat its so late. but, anyway we did watched it. the movie was so-so. i have watched the older version in black and white, and i cant help comparing them and liking the former better. however, keira knightley do look so good in tat movie. well, but she always did in amy movie she starred. but, i feel tat her acting is not so convincing this time. the cinematography is quite ok.howverer still,the movie isn't just right somewhere, but i could not pinpoint what is wrong. i guess i am not a good critics after all. the conversation during dinner was all about manipal days. i remember vowing of not missing manipal those days, but now, i cant help from thinking how easy my life actually looks those dates. and i miss the food, most of all. i miss the masala dosa, bombay toast in shantala. i miss the mango juice,musambi juice, chicken steam rice,mushroom manchurian in dollops, i miss the bony chickens and peach tea in planet cafe, i miss the sizzling brownies in saiba, i miss the mango icecream with mango sauce in temple square, i miss the egg and fish sambal in the mess, and also pav bhaji and tonnes of curds in bq mess. i miss chicken maryland in valleyview hotel. i miss the cheap yet so gooood hot chocolate and cappucino in front of the central library annex. basically, i miss everything. i miss the days i went shopping in udupi for silk sarees everytime was about to go back home. i miss shopping in mega saree stores in madras and bangalore. i miss going shopping for punjabi tops. i miss the unique smell of air whenever i pass by udupi, the mixture of spices and dont know what. i miss being so carefree and jovial when i was there. it was heavenly for a student. yet, i realise it too late. how i wish i can be in manipal, once more. sigh.