i am not so domestic in the domestic area. seriously. i was not so convinced about my capability. maybe coz i have lived under the same roof with my mom for so long, who happened to be a superb cook. but that has to change now. coz i am now turning into a full time wife,and like it or not i have to start learning the tricks of the trade. my ambition is not turning into a well accomplished cook who will compete in masterchef next year. just suffice that my cooking is edible and delectable to my husband's palate and is wholesome. i will try my best to enhance my skill in this area. thank god that he is a very agreeable person even on cooking style and recipes. he love simple food, so thats what i will be putting on his plate for this time. next i will try the 'intimidating' stuff. hopefully by next year, i will be able to cook rendang,make kuih lopis and so forth. for tonight, we just had a simple dinner. i made my first ever grilled herb chicken with some french baguette turned into garlic bread and some sauteed vegetables and hot lime tea. thank god, he love them.

i did it again,yeah. i know, i know. i promised to myself that i will update regularly. but its hard. with my routine, it is very very hard. whatever it is,here i am again. i changed my posting. i was placed in the blood bank. it was supposed to be easier than the previous routine i've been through. well, it partly was. but not truly easy and one to be taken lightly. i did learnt a few stuffs that i never knew. more understanding of the blood request process. more understanding of the process of recruiting a donor, and get to realized a few stuffs too, that is how diffilcult and how crucial is the task that the doctors in blood bank played, in ensuring that those 'upstairs' people get enough blood and component supply to cater for their needs in saving the lives of their patients, and at the same time, making sure that those bloods are safe to be given. its not a role that should be taken for granted. i appreciate the opportunity to learn and to understand this. in the future, if i am destined to be a specialist, i hope that i will be a well informed and are aware of others are doing, and will appreciate what they all are doing along with me in saving other peoples lives. well, thats what team spirits are, at least in my humble opinion. so, after 3 months in blood bank.i got a very pleasant suprise. i will be starting in KKM headquarters in january. again, Allah answered my prayers.He made me wait, but the wait is all worth it. He made it timely with my husband coming home. At the moment, my husband is away on business trip to the US. And i could not imagine how my life would be if i have to start earlier on in Putrajaya. i sure will manage somehow, but it must be kind of depressing too. to learn new stuffs,the road and living alone may make me go nuts. well, i have to declare that i am dependent on him, honestly. i would be lost if i dont have him in this transition trying period. but i am overjoyed too, at the prospect of finally settling down with him.so Allah definitely knows better, his timing is perfect. Thank you Allah, alhamdulillah. So now i am busy with packing and tidying up. I will be starting fresh and new.There will be new challenges but i will try my best to tackle them. I will learn new things and meet new people. But thats what life is all about. We have to move on and make the best of what we have. Dream on and make it real. As for me, my first is to see my husband tomorrow. He is currently on the plane. It must be tiring, the journey will be more than 24 hours.I hope he will be safe and sound.Cant wait to see him and make him eat keropok lekor after 2 months.I miss him so very much. Next, i want to start renovating our new home. My mind is whirling with so much ideas.But that could wait, let the boss come back first and have his rest.Then, i will start reliving the ideas to him. Owh, i cant wait.

i came back from work today and was told by abah that he just plucked his coconuts.i havent introduced my abah, havent i? abah is my retired dad who is now a fulltime dad (at least to me), and simply loves farming. he has planted for us (his 3 daughters ya, not musketeers)many many kind of fruit trees. we are just yet to reap the fruits coz they mostly arent ready to start flowering yet. whatever it is, his coconuts are precious and loved by so many, including encik tupai2 living freely in our orchard and backyard. so when he announced that he has successfully plucked two coconuts (by the way, mereka pun sudah ditebuk encik tupai2 sedikit)and they are readily in the fridge, i was overjoyed. coz i simply love the refreshing young coconuts water. and the flesh, is equally heavenly to me. and my father's coconut is just as nice.

they reminded me of my childhood though. as far as i could recall, i started having them when i was 5 yrs old. and the coconuts remind me of someone- tokyah,which is my late grandma. why so? well, when i was little, i was living abit apart from my grandma/aunts/uncleas/cousins. my parents originally worked in Kl.and while i was small, i was being taken care by my other grandma in kemaman. when i was about to start kindergarten at 5, my parents came back to terengganu and we started to live together in Chendering. the rest of my mum's family was mainly in Paloh. as far as i could remember, they lived quite far from us coz everytime my parents took us to paloh, i will fall asleep during the journey and it felt like ages. (now only i realized its just mere 30 minutes). and only then i get to know tokyah and also my cousins too. they seemed like strangers initially. (but now we are more like siblings).

the things that i could recall vividly is that tokyah has a grand rumah papan with a very nice small pondok or known affectionately as 'gerei' to us at the backyard of her house. the gerei was used for keeping al-quran and teaching the youngs of the kg as tokyah was an alquran teacher.it was also used in some special occasion like kenduri or to us, the young grandchildren, as a place to main masak2 or main perang2. in front of her house, there used to be a few coconut trees of about 20 to 30 feet high standing tall. and they are usually full of coconuts! when i came down for one of the trips, she used to ask one of his kg man to climb up the trees and get some of those delectable fruits down for us.and we will end up having them in the gerei coz the soft breeze that usually accompanied us there will make them extra nice and extra delicious.suffice to say that the juicy tender flesh did not take too long to be my favourite. in fact, i used to ask her to summon the man to get us the fruits whenever that pakcik was around. and i still remember the way i ate them, the water will be put in a large jar for the elderly to drink. the coconuts shell will be cut open into half and then i will scrape the flesh and mix in some sugar. the sweet flesh then will be eaten on its own while the water consumed separately. it was one of the best moment in my life.

now, there are still coconut trees infront of tokyah's house. but it hasnt been climbed on for quite sometime. i guess they are too tall nowadays. and the gerei is no longer there. our dear tokyah is no longer with us. she left us 1 year ago. however, this childhood memory of her will remain affectionately etched in my heart.

rest awhile from the swiss post ok. i need to gather my thoughts. well, this is light post that suddenly pops on my head. its about what i would be if i wasnt what i am today. i think i would be a......writer. yes, a writer. i have always loved writing. writing has inspired me in many ways. i found that i used to have ease on letting myself go, scribbling on a piece of paper. it was easy, just came so naturally. without having to learn formally how. but i stopped. completely stopped. coz i have lost the wealth of words. i dont know what to write for sometime, which is quite long considering that it has been years. but i would not let that stop me again this time. coz i found that the subject need not be something which is incredibly extraordinary, nor it has to be something utterly insane to get me started. what i need is something simple to get the words magically appear. and to continue weave the stories into something meaningful. that is what i hope to achieve. if i fail to entice others on reading my thought, its fine. coz for the first time, i am doing this for myself. owh, it already feels rewarding.

so here i am again. fulfilling my promise. i have always wanted to see the world. all this while, i just had a few opportunity to travel overseas and both were in developing countries.i envy my husband sometimes because he has many opportunities due to the nature of his work. he has travelled to all the continents except Europe. i got tired listening to his first hand stories about all those places he visited, so when the opportunity finally came,we decided that its time for us to fly, to places we both haven't set our foot in. so naturally, it is europe. simply because he haven't been there. the idea was for us both to feel the excitement and anticipation. when i was little, i love watching the Alam Ria Cuti Sekolah on the telly. and it so happened that one of those movies was The Sound Of Music. i could still recall vividly how captivated i was with the movie, particularly of the scene where Julie Andrews sang over the picturesque hill overlooking the valley. it was simply breathtaking, even in pictures. then and there, i vowed to myself that i will be seeing that place in real someday, when i'm all grown up. So thats why i choose to see Switzerland.to fulfill my lifelong dream. initially, we wanted to see all of the Austria Alps and Germany where the film was taken, but due to some reason, we could just do Swiss. But i never regretted the decision. Maybe someday, we will go to the other parts of alpine region with our children.who knows?

get what i mean and then, we have to see London, because simply thats where the must go in Europe for beginners like us, dont you think so? a trip to europe wont be complete if you dont set foot in london, and maybe paris. but we couldnt make time for paris too, though how magnificent it might be due to we have other things on our mind--> we went to the england's countryside. and i feel its worth the skipped paris thingy.so thats how we came to our decision. our trip was in May.it was late spring in swiss, whereas in london the spring was just blooming. the weather was still considered cold to me though. most of the time, i layer my clothes on. and sometimes, i have to put on my gloves. i know it looks weird to the locals but i'm so unable to withstand the cold. now, we started from KLIA at 8 something pm. we flew to zurich by Thai Airways and stopped by bangkok for 3 hours. it was freaking 3 hours of my life though, coz i was so sleepy , yet couldnt find a decent seat in the Suvarnabhumi Airport, plus we were worried that we might missed the plane if both of us dozed off. the gate in Bangkok was abit weird for me, coz to board the plane we have to go down through a pelantar. read more later. i will be back. in a jiffy.:)

i will be writing about the swiss and england experience. i promise. i just need to gather my memory. well, its just 1 month but i feel like its light years away. my grey matter seemed to degenerate fast these days. i am aging, no doubt about it. so before they are completely lost, i shall have to record them up here. so all are not lost forever. so when my hair really turns grey, i could tell my children and maybe my grandchildren all the stories. its a pity i couldn't remember much about my manipal days or my umrah trips now. maybe i need to recollect them too and keep them here. anyway, thats what this blog are about - my experience, past and present, apart from my inner thoughts that i need to put into perspective. well, it looks like we have to get some work done here. but i will like the process i think. so this is me signing off first with a bersemangat resolution.

before this, i always felt that my life is abit monotonous. been doing the same routine for years. its always work,work and work and not much fun. but, thats about to change now. i want a life, so i'm getting one. i shall paint the town red,blue and green, in my own way of course. meanwhile, i shall still ponder on certain issues that needs my attention, maybe major decisions are to be made that will change my life forever. but on that i will take my own sweet time. May ALLAH guide me onto light and the best for my benefit and future. Whatever to become, i hope for the best. and shall be ready to face whatever that's in store. the thing is to be positive and remains positive. life can be a rainbow after a drop of rain. i shall wait for my rainbow!

we just adopted a new pet, a ginger long haired persian puss nicked as 'Aaron Tuah'. When we first saw his pictures, the first thing that really caught my eyes was his big,brown,beady eyes.(picture puss in the boot with those two pleading eyes)and when i finally get to meet him for the first time, i straightway fall head over heel in love with him, because he is such a beautiful cat. so we took him in, we mothered and fathered him. give him our love, made he feel happy the way a puss should. initially,he was this kind of jinak-jinak kucing merpati, where you can touch him but cant cuddle him. however,now, he do let me cuddle him for a few minutes without struggling off like somebody is trying to catnap him as before. but he also has become a little tyrant! naughty naughty boy indeed. before he came, i always had a peaceful meal on the table with my husband or infront of the telly when my husband isn't around. but now not anymore, coz aaron couldnt let his mommy or daddy had their fill as always. he would be jumping up and down when seeing us with a plate or a mug. he would be looking at us with those big pleading eyes like puss in the boot, and when i ignore him, he will be putting his two dainty front paws on my knees. if that doesn't work,he will start main kasar one...! jump straight on my lap or even onto the dining table sometimes , scaring my wits out and try to sniff mommy's delectable food off the plate. what can i do? i could just helplessly scolded him "sayang, you shouldnt do this sayang!" but he will never pay any attention to my scolding. he will just sit there looking innocent as ever. and i will be so frustrated coz i could never discipline him to be a good decent cat; like the one that we had back home in trg, which was disciplined by my father. my father tiger coacher her to make her obey.well, i dont believe (and have the heart to) in that kind of tiger coaching, so maybe i need to try and do something else so aaron will learn that when human eats, he shouldnt disturb.so i googled up and got some good articles on 'how to discipline your little pet'.well, i shall try it out and see if its working.(it actually involves some cat sound growling which i need to practise on,haha) i really need that now coz i really miss our peaceful dining at times. sigh. and today, he made me screamed again. you see, aaron is a toilet trained kind of cats.he only poo-poo in his litterbox. he wont poo-poo somewhere else.and thats a good thing actually,or else i would be on my knees daily,scooping his poo-poo . yucks, i wont like that! this aaron also always has his bath about once a week or every fortnight and blowed dry (think about hair and spa treatment).however till date, we havent been giving him his regular bath yet because we still havent bought a hairdryer for him.well actually we plan to go out today and buy.however aaron apparently couldnt wait.so today what happened was, he poo-pooed again in his litterbox.i heard him clawing the litter,and lo and behold, i suddenly noticed a waft of the undescribable smell coming out from nowhere in the living room. it was awful, so i hunted for him up and down.i found him sitting quietly under the sofa, looking very goody-goody as ever. well, i fished him out and straightaway into the shower he went. hairdryer or no hairdryer this time, i couldn't tahan anymore. so i shampooed him and rinsed him off. i was a bit suprised coz he was good, sat still on the sink and let me spa him off. initially i thought that he's gonna resist and i shall have to wrestled him off like other cats we have back home . but turns out the bathtime was actually pleasant. and now he smells all nice and girly again. he looks bad though, with his hair sticking to his body. hehe. not his usual charming self.and not so fatty after all. but gosh, he is still adorable. however, i think he will try to behave for sometime this time coz he knows mommy wont let him got into mischief again. yes, i wont coz i just finished scrubbing the kitchen floor for 1 hour! now i feel like growling like a little feisty feline!

so this is our aaron tuah, in his relaxed post. taken 2 weeks ago, when he first arrived.

i am back in the old sleepy town. already for 9 months.thats quite a long time isn't it? well, during my absence in this blogging world, alot has happened in the real world. really. and i have stories, lots of them which i should have jotted down here earlier,but i didn't and couldn't because of many reasons-mainly is time constraint and secondly is time constraint again, apart from others. well, but whoever isn;t busy these days? even a home maker is busy bustling around, i wont have any doubt about that. because for the past few days, thats what i am, and oh what abit of relief it is for now.though i too, bustled around. maybe i should just recapped what has happened in my life since past few years? no? well i think i should since my archive shows a very big distance from 2009 to 2011. i last posted in 2009! and what would be 'me' in another 20 years time thinking, if i happen to still be much alive and reading through the blog again and seeing the blankness of 2010. as if nothing much has happened. when there are actually MUCH has happened. for the sake of future me, this was what happened in your past (now it looks like i am trying to save my brain cells in case of alzheimer) 1. get myself hitched to a very great guy in 2008 december. has lived so far happily ever and hopefully after. however, we still have a relatively long distance relationship. i found it too comfortable to leave my nest and him being the nice sipportive husband still letting me to have my way. 2. i got myself transferred to kuala terengganu. well, the jabatan actually transferred me. but i filled up the form, so it was my choice too right? 3. be posted in anaesthesiology. well. a very good posting but a demanding one too. shall blog about this later. its much more than just putting ppl to sleep, or getting cranky because too much gases after a day in ot. 4. went for umrah in 2009. it was one of the best moments in my life. 5. went for a vacation with my husband 1 month ago. and thats also one of the best moments in my life 6.nowadays, i am stranded here for the 'undescribable' 7. mom started a small home business. me and my sisters are the brainstormers. 8.contemplating what to do next in my life. i have to settle a few nagging issues that needs my attention. and here is my to do list for the next few months: 1.learn graphic design 2.learn cake decorating 3.gain some knowledge about astronomy 4. do some crafting 5. be a wife 6. just be happy with what i am doing. well, dear me, thats just a small recap. we will elaborate more after this short pause. i promise.

hi! hello! i am back. finally. after so long hibernating,i decided to be back writing. for myself at least. will start jotting down things that cross my mind. and oh, all the experience and going- ons on my life. at least, when i grow old and starts to be forgetful, this little blog may serve as a reminder what i have been through, my ups and downs, my victory and virtue. hopefully as my hair greying, my mind will remain green. :) hopefully. i keep my hand up.praying. wish me luck, ppl. for now, i rest my fingers, thank you.

i am posted in district now, and serving the people restlessly. day in day out, i lost count of the days spent here. it has to be nearly a year. well, i have settled down finally and made a nest. i am in my comfort zone, suprisingly yes, as i did not choose to be here in the first place. i was sent away a year ago on a 3 day notice, while i was in OT , sweating for a few couple of hours assisting daycare surgery, by a mere phone call. and it was more frustrating that i received the call at 1230 noon. i cant get anything much done by mere 3 hours isnt it( the office closes at 3.30 over here on thursday). after 5 minutes of sulking and feeling depressed, i finally get around and try to make my postpone letter, which of course wont finish by then. so finally i accepted my fate rather gracefully and went about settling my transfer checklist. it was depressing. the first few months were terrible. but i survived. learnt a few things here and there that never beknownst to me to be learnt. made new friends and enemy. and for the first time really stand on my own two dainty feet. i made decisions. which matters. and they made me mature alittle bit more. i'm glad i came. and maybe this time, if i have to go, it wont be without tears either.

i am changing the nature of my posts...there will still be goings ons on my life. but today, i have decided to come out of my shell.to reveal the true me. no more cloaks. no more invisible veils. i will show my true face, and colours in my writings. i have decided that i have been demure enough in my writings, and i guess that has to change. i am a normal human being for god sake. i guess i am always this person who wants to have a go at everything in life, who wishes that she can reveals her wildcat side, yet she is too afraid to see her in light of what she truly is. i guess i am scared of my own self. but why should i? i am still anonymous.

it has been 2 year and 7 months. so many has changed. and definitely alot has happened, friendship gained and renewed, some were lost forever, love lost, a few silent tears were shed and then found again. this time i didnt shed any tears, but my heart leapt with joy.looking back the memory lane, i havent done too badly. the past years were satisfactory. but somethings may be better this year. at least, earnestly i hope so. with the coming of a new year. i hope for a promising future for both of us and our families.yes, i am a married woman now for a change. happy new year to u and me. may this year bring us joy,prosperous and fruitful life together.

I have kept to myself for two years. It may look like a mere two years. But there were so many memorable things actually has occurred. Some were the things that I felt will never happen. But it actually did. And I am grateful for the opportunity that He has granted me with. I have shed many tears, of joy and happiness, of hopelessness and gaining another again, of rejoice , of many others that cant be described here. those which were left behind will always remain at the back of my mind. Though not all I wish to remember, they will still be there in the darkness. I remember myself a few years ago. Heartbroken to bits. My dreams shattered. I was disillusioned. It was cruel. But it opened my eyes to the real world. And I am thankful to what i tasted. Though I must say it was very bitter, I have survived and revived, and now are so much alive. I have shed many silent tears for a lost love. But I really am thankful, for my loss was actually my gain. I am overwhelmed for all the beautiful plans he laid for me.he has a grand plan indeed. I have found the love of my life. And it so happened that person is now my kind, gentle and warm fiancé, that supports me in every way he could and he know of. And I couldn’t describe how contented my life is now. To the person, obviously you know who you are. Thank you very much for all the wonderful things u did, for all the dreams that u endeavour to make come true, for all the love that u actually give, for all the words that u made me believe. U are really my vanilla to my root bear, the cheese to my macaroni. I love u with all my heart. And I will wait patiently for the day u come back home. Though we are thousand miles apart, I believe our hearts are entwined as one. I love u yesterday and today. I will love u more tomorrow. this is my first declaration of love to u. i love u.

alhamdulillah...it is good news after all i've been through... i have passed...:)and so do other 93 classmates of mine. its nice, this feeling of joy that we all shared. syukur ke hadrat ilahi, atas rahmat dan nikmatnya. all this happen with his will. and i would like to thank dr ain affnani jasman again, if she happened to be reading this. i do really appreciate what u have done for me, yeah, if it is not for your insightful talk, i maybe wont have made a dash for it. and of course to mama, abah, my grandmas, adik2 and all my big family for non stop doa and prayers done for me...i seriously think, it is their doa and blessings that put me through with ALLAH's will. i love you guys all, and u all are my rocks! mama abah, thanks for having so much faith in me, when i seemed to have lost some. and i would like to congratulate all my classmates, BATCH 7 OF MMMC, CLASS OF 2006. you guys are wonderful, esp to my colleagues, dr shida,dr shamima, dr shanti, dr shoby. oh yeah, dr vinod too...gosh, it sounded so weird with the doctorship in front of their names...hehe...and last but not least, i feel, my lecturers, they are all angels...thank you my dear teachers, for teaching me the beautiful art of medicine. and thank you for all the moral support and endless guidance...thank you, thank you....and alhamdulillah...:) i guess i cant write much sense today...but i am just feeling so happy...being walled up in this hostel room for two months, has addled me a little bit. recaps of the past few months..i have gained and lost a few kgs. i have finish two bags of coffees within one month, its a record since i am not a coffee addict. well, turning into one. but the sad part is i am now resistance to its anti-sleeping effect. and i have had god only knows sleepless nights..but thank god, it is all over...alhamdulillah.

3 days more to go. yet i am not ready yet, to battle, to fight, to win. but, mama said, i will not be ready forever, if i dont go for this one. so she asked me to do the best and try my luck. i will. i wont turn back anymore. and thanks ain for giving me the opening eye talk..i really appreciate it. ya allah ya tuhanku, aku hambamu yang lemah, mengharapkan kasih sayangmu. perkuatkanlah keazamanku, permudahkanlah segala urusanku, hilangkanlah kebuntuan dan timbulkanlah ilham, lindungilah aku dari dizalimi. aku hanya ingin menjadi seorang doktor yang selamat, dan mula berbakti pada akhir februari ini. amin.

what i did on the new year's eve? I went out for dinner with shida and shanti, thinking that we are watching BAIK PUNYA CILOK afterwards. but, it just happened that we dont have jodoh with the movie,as i cancelled the reservations afterwards due to some misunderstanding. instead, we watched pride and prejudice modern version showing at 11.45 pm. i know tat its so late. but, anyway we did watched it. the movie was so-so. i have watched the older version in black and white, and i cant help comparing them and liking the former better. however, keira knightley do look so good in tat movie. well, but she always did in amy movie she starred. but, i feel tat her acting is not so convincing this time. the cinematography is quite ok.howverer still,the movie isn't just right somewhere, but i could not pinpoint what is wrong. i guess i am not a good critics after all. the conversation during dinner was all about manipal days. i remember vowing of not missing manipal those days, but now, i cant help from thinking how easy my life actually looks those dates. and i miss the food, most of all. i miss the masala dosa, bombay toast in shantala. i miss the mango juice,musambi juice, chicken steam rice,mushroom manchurian in dollops, i miss the bony chickens and peach tea in planet cafe, i miss the sizzling brownies in saiba, i miss the mango icecream with mango sauce in temple square, i miss the egg and fish sambal in the mess, and also pav bhaji and tonnes of curds in bq mess. i miss chicken maryland in valleyview hotel. i miss the cheap yet so gooood hot chocolate and cappucino in front of the central library annex. basically, i miss everything. i miss the days i went shopping in udupi for silk sarees everytime was about to go back home. i miss shopping in mega saree stores in madras and bangalore. i miss going shopping for punjabi tops. i miss the unique smell of air whenever i pass by udupi, the mixture of spices and dont know what. i miss being so carefree and jovial when i was there. it was heavenly for a student. yet, i realise it too late. how i wish i can be in manipal, once more. sigh.

terasa macam nak makan macam-macam arini. tatau apasal tiba2 rasa macam nih. saya nak makan

1. nasi minyak masakan mama, dengan kermuk daging dan acar nenas.

2. keropok lekor yang panas- panas

3. zinger kfc

4, kaya ball kat jusco melaka

5. pizza shakeys

6.nasi dagang kak pah kat ganu

and the list goes on and on... huwaaa..nak balik rumah

i am back in my hostel room..looking around, its been nearly 2 and half years i occupy this room. and hopefully in about 5 weeks from now, i will vacant this room forever, marking the end of my student days. walau macamanapun, my focus now is to study properly in this few hours left and clear all my papers. i am actually so sad at this moment...i failed my surgery paper by 2 marks..tapi alhamdulillah, i passed all my other papers, and also my practicals. dan alhamdulillah, by aggregat i passed, even though my surgery dissapoint me... i least expected it, coz i felt i can answer properly, i have thought that my paediatrics paper gonna pull me down, tapi yang sebaliknya terjadi...mulai saat ni, mmg tak boleh leka, aku harus bekerja keras, utk memastikan permulaanku sbg seorang professional bermula pada akhir februari ni..insya allah, aja aja fighting!!

semenjak dua nih, mama asyik bercakap pasal kahwin. aku balik ke KL 23 hb lepas. dia bercakap lagi pasal kahwin. aku kadang2 rimas bila dia bercakap pasal kahwin. sebabnya aku belum bersedia utk berkahwin dan settle down. aku belum bersedia utk memasuki alam yang serba lain. 24 hb aku ikut mama, abah dan adik2 pergi ke Ampang Putri. dekat cafeteria hospital tu, again mama bercakap pasal yang sama. jadi aku terpaksa membentangkan hujah2 mengapa aku takmau kahwin lagi. dan mama pula telah membalas hujah2 aku dengan hujah2 dia yang lengkap dengan dalil-dalil yang aku tak boleh sangkal..aka membrainwash aku...well, suffice to say until this extent that i actually gets partially convinced by her. aku memahami hasrat hati mama. cuma aku rasa yang aku belum bersedia. aku rasa sebelum aku menggalas tanggungjawap dan amanah, aku kene bersedia sepenuhnya. tapi org tua bercakap melalui pengalaman dan pengamatan, jadi aku tak boleh menyangkal kata-kata mama sepenuhnya. jadi, pendekatan yang aku ambil sekarang adalah cuma berfikir dan berdoa. moga-moga allah berikan aku petunjuk apa yang terbaik utk diri aku, dan melorongkan aku ke jalan yang betul. 25 hb, aku buang tebiat sikit. sbb baru habis exam katakan. aku join satu make up class..cikgunya org serdang, an owner of a bridal house. saja saja belajar. aku ni mekap tak pandai and biasanya tak pakai lebih2. yang essential utk aku lately adalah foundation and lipbalm. doundation tu sbb kulit aku tgh teruk break out skang. mungkin sbb stresses exam kot. tapi mmg biasanya, muka aku togel ajer tanpa secalit mekap...cuma baru baru ni aku discover yang muka aku ni teruk sangat pucat macam org sakit masa pergi exam praktikal aritu. shida siap kata yang muka aku cam tak siap...heheh...mana tidaknya, sibuk dok last minute baca itu ini, baju pun bergosok ala kadar, mana ada masa nak touch up muka. tapi sekarang, aku dah ada azam baru..kene la jaga penampilan..nanti kang esok2 muka lesu, mana la org nak confident ngan kita... ni muka aku yang dimekapkan sendiri oleh aku...hehe...rasa terlebih tebal...cam opera cina...tapi ramai kata lawa...heheh..perasan sekejap...isk isk isk

ada muka cam aku tak? rasa cam org lain jer..